Things have been rough this past week. Maybe I'm on a low after all of the wedding distraction.
Chris's cousin had her twin girls. Over a month early, but they're fine. I just don't understand how some people can have twins, triplets, or 19 kids and counting, and my one was taken from me. (I don't wish anyone's child would die or anything, I just wish mine didn't). We saw his whole family the day after the twins were born, and no one told me. I found out about a week after they were born. (Just before I got the birth announcement in my email). Talk about kick me when I'm down. I just hate the fact that most people in my life now walk on eggshells around me. It definitely doesn't help.
Some friends of ours that we see at least once a week are about 16 wks pregnant. I was pretty ok with it (just a small kick in the gut when looking at ultrasound pics, hearing other people gush about the baby etc..) but now that she's starting to show and rub her belly all the time, I'm starting to have a really hard time with it.
Well, this ended up being a big pity party post, and on the day when I've decided I need to make an effort to think more positively. I guess I can start tomorrow...
Sweet Nevan,
I looked through your memory box today and all your pictures. You had the cutest little hands and feet. They were exactly the same as Daddy's. Actually, you looked like his 'mini-me'. I think of you all the time and hope you can feel my love.
Mommy
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I am no longer sure of many things - but this our children are never so far from us that they can't feel our love.
ReplyDeleteNevan is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI know how you are feeling honey. My friend has just had her baby girl and no matter how much i adore my friend, inside i was dying.. i must add though that she NEVER flaunted her pregnancy in front of me, neither did she do the rubbing belly bit and i love her for that.
Thinking of you and sending you hugs xxx
So sorry you've had such a rough week...your daughter was so incredibly beautiful. I stumbled upon your blog while looking for others who have dealt with infant loss. My husband & I just lost our daughter a week ago due to premature labor 23wks into my pregnancy. We are in a difficult place with our grief & I'm just trying to connect with others who know the depths of such loss.
ReplyDeletei was ok with my pregnant friend until she started to show, and i suddenly realised that she would be able to feel her baby moving. i haven't seen her since. we've stuck to email and phone calls. it sucks. i miss her so badly.
ReplyDeletei think you're allowed to feel sorry for yourself.
xx