done!

I'm glad xmas is over! Actually, I can't wait for this time next week, when 2010 will be done too. I didn't expect to have a hard time with yesterday, seeing as C and I were not doing xmas at all. We had planned to just stay home the 2 of us, make some food and relax and watch movies all day. We did end up doing that, and it was good. I had one huge melt down in the evening, but other than that was ok.
This week has been an emotional one for me anyways. Our friends had their baby on the 23rd. We weren't really close to these people when we had Nevan, but in the months since, we've become close. I've had a couple chats with the girl about Nevan, and they've treated us like normal people, which has been nice. Anyway, I've still been dreading their baby's birth since we found out she was pregnant. C called me on the night of the 22nd to tell me she was in labor and he'd be bringing their dogs over. I had a huge breakdown, and cried more than I have in a long, long time. I guess it brought back major flashbacks and memories to my labor with Nevan. I was really stressed out all day at work the next day, not sure if it was selfishly about me, or worried that her labor was taking so long. Anyways, their son was born healthy and fine on the night of the 23rd. We went up to see him on the 24th. I was feeling really stressed about meeting him, and just wanted to get it out of the way. I almost lost it as we got out of the elevator on the maternity ward. All I could hear was crying newborns, and then so many happy people in the waiting room it was rough. I held it together, and meeting the new baby was actually ok. He's very sweet and I held him for a while. I was glad to get it out of the way.
I'm now 23 wks along with Nevan's little brother. The pregnancy feels like it's taking forever, and I swing back and forth between hopeful and majorly stressed. I started having braxton hicks contractions at 20wks, which really freaked me out. The night before an OB appt last week, I was having so many, which of course caused major stress. I had a complete breakdown in my appt, and my OB was very kind, gave me 2 ultrasounds, one to check the baby and one to check my cervix. Both are fine. Apparently it's very normal to have the bh contractions this early in a 2nd pregnancy. He said if I ever needed reassurance, just go to the hospital and they would check me. So that's a bit of a relief I guess. I'm really trying to stay hopeful and positive, but it's hard. April can't come fast enough.