butterflies...

I held a baby on Friday night. The first since Nevan. We were going to friends for dinner, and I was a bit nervous all day. They lost a baby last year, so it was different in a way, I wasn't dreading it like I would have been if they hadn't (that sounds horrible, doesn't it?). The mom knew how I was feeling, and it was nice to hold their little 8 week old girl. Chris held her for a long time too. It didn't upset me at all really. It was nice. Hopefully we'll have our own baby to hold next year.

Our support group puts on a butterfly release picnic every year, and we went yesterday to release a butterfly for Nevan. It was a nice event, but I was surprised at how many people were there (I'd say between 100-200). So it felt a bit less lonely, to see that many people in real life in our area who'd lost babies. There were also lots of new babies and some pregnant ladies around, which gave me hope to see. It does happen. People have babies after loss. I really needed to see it and feel some hope after a pretty rough week.